Today I helped to welcome pupils to the Student Union at the Strathclyde Open Day and ended up getting recruited to be a member of the Welcome Team during Freshers Week. I’m told that it’s a great experiencee (it does sound really fun actually!) and it will definitely help me practice being more outgoing, the same way Strathguides does.

For us quiet people it really is a case of ‘the more you do it, the better you become’, so I try to volunteer for things that might sometimes take me out of my comfort zone and sort of force me to talk to total strangers (which I sometimes find a lot easier…maybe because I’ll probably never see them again or something), or in front of a group of people. In the case of Strathguides, a group of people who aren’t much younger than me, which can definitely be daunting but is very satisfying once you get them to, well, like you I suppose. Or engage with you at least. Usually I end up really enjoying myself, often after worrying about it for ages beforehand.

Anyway, I recently read an article about introverts versus shy people, which got me thinking about whether I am one or not. At first glance, that would probably be most people’s assumption about me, because nine times out of ten I am extremely reserved when I first meet people. (If you are part of that lucky ten percent who I feel completely at ease with straight away you may, however, struggle to get me to stop talking).

And most of the items on this poster definitely seem to apply to me:

But I don’t actually consider myself to be an introvert really. Even though I am frequently rather quiet, I am actually quite sociable and love being around people, and I even like meeting new ones, although I do sometimes find that scary. (Admittedly I am often happy enough to just listen and only participate in the conversation occasionally, so I can see why I might give the impression that I am not that fussed about being there.) Also preferably ‘nice/not scary people’, i.e. I am not the biggest fan of the sort of people who are really loud, and somehow feel very uncomfortable around someone who isn’t exactly the same and doesn’t talk as much as they do. But, while I need time by myself as much as the next person, I’m pretty sure given the choice I’d prefer the company. In fact since coming to university I’m probably downright needy for company now and then, I think because it can be easy to get lost in a crowd, and it’s not always easy to form close friendships here.
Parties are kind of mixed, it depends on the size and the ratio of strangers to people I know. For instance I obviously prefer it if I know more people, but I would be ok with knowing only a handful if it was a fairly large party and no one else knows that many people either. But if it’s a situation where lots of people there know each other and I don’t know lots of people, particularly at smaller gatherings, I have a bad habit of only talking to one or two (new) people the whole time and/or sticking to my friends like glue.

Back to introverts though: there are hundreds of “Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert” quizzes (according to them I mostly am one, although this one says extrovert), and countless lists of “Signs you’re secretly an Introvert“, as well as “It’s ok, we’re all different” type articles, which are nice and all but still feel awfully like labelling.

I enjoyed this article from Huffington Post. I definitely agree/identify with point 7,10,12,15, 20, 21, 22 and 23, and sometimes with points 1, 2, 3, 4, and 8. Probably that makes me an introvert, secret or not, or perhaps I am simply shy with some introvert tendencies. I really like Susan Cain’s idea of the ‘Quiet Revolution’, because that seems to be something people who aren’t quiet just don’t understand – the fact that it’s not as if we don’t like people, but we have to sometimes literally work up the courage to speak to them. The Quiet Resolution Pinterest Board is so full of sayings and things I agree with that I was forced to actually join Pinterest and make my own, just to avoid pasting 50 images with funny observations into this post.

The Guardian

 

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Part 2

I had occasionally seen the term  ‘INTJ’ online and never really understood what was meant by it – for a while I thought it was maybe some kind of short version/strange acronym of the word introvert actually- until I decided to google it today and found this website, which explained what it means and offers a quiz which determines your own personality type, “based on writings by Carl Jung, David Keirsey and Isabel Briggs-Myers”.

I am apparently type  INFP, which stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Prospecting* and FINALLY backs up my theory that I am both/neither introvert wise:

“INFPs may also often retreat into their “hermit” state (this personality type can easily switch between the two states), withdrawing from the world and getting lost in their deep thoughts..”

So people like me who thrive on being around people but also need to be alone apparently DO exist! Yay! I really want to just quote the entire page and tell you “I’m this and this and this, and ooh, this also applies to me!” but I shall restrain myself. But I will tell you this: it says INFP people have an aptitude for languages (check)..

Ok I can’t help it:

“usually perceived as calm, reserved or even shy” (yep)…. “such an exterior can be deceptive – even though INFPs can be somewhat cautions, their inner flame and passion is not something to be taken lightly.” (so true!)

“..really affectionate, a trait not often seen in other types. This compassion can be really fervent and long-lasting – but the INFP will use it quite cautiously, directing their energies towards a few selected people or a worthy cause. Idealism is the banner of INFP personalities – and they are proud of it. Unfortunately, it also means that INFPs can often feel misunderstood and isolated, as they are relatively rare (only 4.3% of U.S. population).” (uh-huh)

“People with the INFP personality type have a clear sense of honor” (And fairness. As my family will attest to, especially when it comes to my ‘food communism’.)

“seek harmony in their lives and the surrounding environment, often feeling dejected because of all the bad things happening in the world and trying hard to create something positive. People with this personality type tend to see things and actions from the idealistic perspective, rather than the prism of logic. They respond to beauty, morality, virtue rather than utility, effectiveness or value.” (yeah)

“This personality type does not worship logic, unlike the NT types – “from their viewpoint, logic is not always necessary.” (I agree- I do like logic, but not always.)

“often become great writers and actors, as they can easily reflect and convey their own personalities using the fictional characters. Generally speaking, people with this personality type are extremely creative, innovative and goal-oriented – they can be great advocates for causes they truly believe in.” (that’s always nice, and while I have no plans to become a proper ‘great writer’ or actor, I do love writing- Exhibit A: this blog)

“Finally, most INFPs have the ability to notice even the slightest hint of good in other people. In INFP eyes, even the most revolting person will have something worthy of respect or, at the very least, sympathy.” (definitely. I like to think that everyone has a back story or reason behind their personality, facade or behaviours – whether seen as good or bad, there is more to them than meets the eye. Even those annoying people I can’t stand being around. That doesn’t stop me from finding them annoying, but I try and explain why through it.)

If you’re still with me at this point, the section about friends  and the strengths and weaknesses is also interesting.

Anyway, I’m happy for the day because I found this page and it explains a lot 🙂

 

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Introverted (I) : Reserved, listen carefully, prefer solitary activities, more comfortable when alone than when around other people, get exhausted by social interaction

Intuitive (N): Introspective, rely on their imagination, absorbed in ideas, focus on what might happen

Feeling (F): Sensitive, follow their hearts, keep feelings close to the surface, focus on harmony and cooperation

Prospecting (P): Probing, prefer keeping their options open, reluctant to commit, relaxed about their work, seek freedom
I also think some traits from the others apply to me, e.g. Sensing (S): Observant
Judging (J):  prefer clear (rules and) guidelines, seek closure , but I guess to a lesser extent